Surviving the Holidays

Grief is the normal reaction we all have to the experience of loss. It's important to be aware that grief, while normal and necessary, can be difficult and does not have a set time limit. The closer the relationship to the loved one, the more profoundly grief may be experienced.

The holidays may be especially difficult for people who are grieving. You may view the upcoming holiday season differently than the rest of the world. Instead of looking forward to the merriment of a family reunion, you may see the holidays as great trials to be endured. You may desire the pleasure and security of holiday traditions, yet also feel dread about upcoming events because they renew the reality and finality of death.

Someone you love is missing, and the emptiness created by your loved one's absence cannot be filled, no matter how many relatives gather by your hearth. Since you may be more vulnerable to physical and emotional disturbances during the holidays than at any other time in your life, the following thoughts and ideas are shared to help you prepare for upcoming events.

Accept All of Your Feelings

Tears, loneliness, sadness, and even depression are natural reactions to the loss of a loved one. Holidays, birthdays, and other special days can trigger a deep sense of loss long after you thought those feelings were gone. If you find you are able to enjoy some of the festivities, try not to feel as though you're somehow betraying your loved one. Accept yourself wherever you are in the grieving process.

Set Priorities

As a grieving person, please know that you may simply be unable to function at your usual pace. Divide tasks into smaller, more manageable steps and share the work with your family and friends. Fatigue can lead to depression even under the best of circumstances. Learn to say, "No, thank you" when you are too tired, or when you know that the memories will be too painful. Listen to your heart and do those things that seem right to you.

Plan Ahead

Decide what you can handle comfortably and let your needs be known to family and friends. Do you want to talk about your loved one at gatherings? Can you handle preparing the holiday dinner as you have in previous years, or do you want someone to take over some of the responsibilities? Do you want to follow the traditional holiday routines, or do you want a change this year?

If you need further assistance in coping with your grief, please don't hesitate to call our Bereavement Coordinator at Abbey Hospice
(770) 464-5858

Don't Be Afraid to Make Changes

You may find that some of the holiday traditions are too emotionally painful this year. Consider making "new traditions" for yourself and your family this season. Some suggestions you might try include: opening your gifts at a different time of day; having dinner in another place, or using different china; attending a different church, temple, or synagogue; letting your children take over some of the decorating or cooking.

Help Another Person
In Need

Helping another can be a very effective way of healing after a loss. Contributing to someone else gets your attention off yourself. If you have the energy, there are many people who need you. Some possibilities include volunteering to be with older folks or children, helping in a hospital or a soup kitchen, or assisting a friend in need.

Surviving the Holidays When Someone You Love Has Died